A dumpy post

Well, I really have nothing to tell you exciting. It's been a pretty calm week. I have actually been home almost the whole week, which has really been nice. I've managed to clean up the house and organize a little.
Now the sad part is I've spent the last two days packing Bay's stuff. It has been really hard. I am not sending everything because I may have to have some of this stuff if we ever get another foster baby. Before, I always sent everything with the kids home and went out and bought new stuff each time, but that has cost me a fortune...much more than the $14.60 that the state gives us to take care of these kids. But, I want her to have all of the clothes that fit her now and I want her to have EVERYTHING that she needs. I even want her to have the thousands of pictures we've taken of her while we had her. Also, I kept her a baby book and saved all of her hospital bands, shirts, blankets, homecoming outfit, etc. I went out and bought a couple of the large pink rubbermaid containers to store her stuff in. So I started sorting through and trying to find up everything I want her to have and it is so very sad. A friend came in while ago and she ask me was I excited about my upcoming vacation and I honestly had to say no ,because my vacation is the day after Bay leaves and if it weren't for this vacation we would have a few more days with her. Honestly, I'd rather stay home and love Bay as much as I can... I can go on vacation anytime. (Just don't tell my hubby ,because he would be so disappointed. He has had this planned for us .)
Well, I'm feeling a little dumpy today. I think it really hit me as I packed up her tiny things and to know I may never get to hold her again or tuck her in bed at night after she leaves...that breaks my heart. I pray we will. I pray that we will get to stay in her life for the rest of ours, but at this point it is totally up to her mom and most moms just want to be as far as they can from anyone associated with dfcs.
It's just sad...really sad. Bay is a precious part of our lives and no matter what she will always be our baby. I don't think we could have loved her anymore if we had, had her ourselves. But, I don't regret anything and if I could, I would do it all over again (even as bad as it hurts), I would. Just continue to pray for us and forgive me if I seem dumpy, because I don't really mean to be.
Well, as I said, I really have nothing exciting to share. It's been a pretty calm week.
As for the weekend, well I really don't have any great plans. I think Brent is taking the boys to the rodeo and I may try to take the little kids to the mall. Trin has been begging for a webkin and he has his money saved to get one, so I may try to take him shopping and while I'm there get the kids fall clothes bought up.
Plus, I have 5 birthdays in the next two weeks that I also need to get prepared for.
Anyway, gotta run...the little kids are fussing. Have a great day!

Update

Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you know that I added more wedding pics(over 100) to our family album. So stop by and take a look if you'd like.

Hugs, Sandy

To view pictures click link below!

http://www.geocities.com/pictures2album/2.html

ANOTHER SNAKE!!!!!!!!

Well, believe it or not ,but we had another snake to get in our house yesterday. This is not the first time. We found a 6+ foot chicken snake in our den last year. It had come in through our chimney. This time it was a king snake about 12 inches long....grrr The problem is that we have no idea how this one found it's way in our house. Needless to say, but I didn't sleep a wink last night. I just kept thinking about that snake.
Samantha was the one that found it. We had just came in from the mall and was about to leave for a youth rally. Samantha was getting ready in Katie's bathroom, and out of the corner of her eye she saw something moving. At first she thought it was a mouse. Then she realized it was a snake and she went crazy. She was screaming like someone was after her. It crawled out and into Katie's bedroom. Brent caught it and let it go outside in the woods. Now, I know I am not normal, because I am not horrified like most are of snakes. You would think I would be scared especially considering I was bite by a copperhead as a child, but I am not that scared of snakes. I just can't stand the thought of one just lurking in my house or the thought of stepping on one in the dark or finding one in my bed or in my kids beds. ..now that I couldn't stand. Imagine hugging up to your pillow and finding one wrapped around it...now that would make anyone cringe.

A little good news!!

I took Jacob back to see the dentist ,that done some of the work in his mouth when he was a baby.
Just in case some of you don't know, Jacob's baby teeth came in unhealthy. By the time he was a year old his teeth were turning brown and had to be removed. For the first three years of his life he was in a dentist office. The last time he went at age 3, they put him in the hospital and done alot of work in his mouth. At age 3, they finally were able to seal what baby teeth he had left. I took him back yesterday. I was so scared that she would say he needed work in his mouth. He has already been through so much pain in his life, due to his teeth that I hated taking him.. I took him in and he did have a few problems. He had lost a cap off of his back tooth, and he did not let me know. He had also pulled a baby tooth, but a part of its root was still in the gum, so it will have to be removed, and they found one tooth with a tiny spot, but they will be able to fix it.
So what is the good news???? His new teeth are coming in healthy!!!!!!!!! We were all afraid that his second set of teeth would be bad , just like the first set was, but she said they all looked normal and healthy. She said the problem that Jacob has is that he doesn't produce enough good bacteria in his mouth and that he will always be at risk of losing his teeth. Starting from now on and for the rest of his life they want to see him every six months, just to be sure that they catch any problems early on and they will seal any new teeth he gets as quick as they can.
They will also be putting in a backwards retainer in his mouth(for space) because his mouth is already over crowded. He will also have to have braces, but with the retainer he won't have to have braces nearly as long. I wasn't surprised about the braces. I've basically lived in the orthodontist office for the last 4+ years...grrrr Three of the girls (Anna, Ashley, and Samantha) had braces. Now it's the boy's turn I guess.
Jon gets his next month, and then after all of Jacob's baby teeth are pulled, I guess he will be going too...grrrrr

Pray for us

Well, I officially know when my baby girl (Bay) will be leaving me *tears*. I talked to the case manager and she gave me Aug 17 as the day she nolonger needs to be in a foster home. Of all the days in the year, it has to be my birthday....grrrrr
However, Bay will be basically moving home on the 12th, due to the fact that each week I have to add one extra night to her family visits, until we have her moved home...so that she has time to adjust slowly. On the week before she leaves she will be staying five nights . So pretty much that means she goes home on the 12th.
I am taking it okay, so far. I've accepted it at this point(or atleast I think I have). Her mom has told dfcs and us that she wants us to remain in Bay's life. I just pray that will never change. I'm just so scared that she is just saying that to make us feel better. I've tried to be as good to Bay's family as I could from the very start and I pray they will be just as considerate of our family.
Anyhow, I know it will hit me when I finally start packing up her baby things and moving them to her new home. It is gonna be the hardest thing losing Bay. She has been with us so long. I had never allowed myself to get this attached to any child besides my own, and I hope I never get attached to another foster child like I did her, because it hurts deeply.
Bay doesn't really seem to understand. She is happy here and she seems to be happy there too.
My friend Maria wrote me a letter the other day and she worded it as if it was coming from a birth family. She told me (not the exact words) but basically that Bay had to move on just so that I could have room to reach out to another child . I can't even begin to thank her enough for her words. They really helped me to see that keeping Bay is not God's Will and that God has another plan for me.
I do want God's Will for my life and I know sometimes God's ways aren't easy for us to understand. But, we just have to accept that He knows what is best for us.
Please just keep our family in your prayers, especially as the dreaded day draws closer. Pray that we will have the peace we need. Also, continue to pray for Bay and her family.
Thank you all so much.

Finally!!!

Well, after a loooooooooooooooooooooooong hiatus, it seems Brent is finally ready to start back working on our extra room. I had about decided that the room was never gonna be anything besides a covered porch...grrrrr So I decided to start the ball rolling myself. I got out there and cleaned it off, because it had started accumulating after Anna's wedding. We kinda pushed the rubbermaid containers (full of wedding stuff) out there. So finally, I got those moved. Now he has no excuse.
I think my father-in-law has done all he was gonna do(all the stuff Brent couldn't do). Now, it's up to Brent to finish. Brent is the world's worst procrastinator. I have mentioned it to him almost every single day since they laid down their hammers and it always leads into a huge fuss. Brent just doesn't understand. If that room was finished it would make the kids and my life alot easier and better. I wouldn't have to listen to my kids complain that the little kids are in their stuff. I would have a place for the kids to play. They wouldn't have to share rooms with my kids and it would get the kids out of my living room(where they play now) and into a room where they could just be kids. I told Brent that I was not gonna take anymore foster kids until the room is done. I just don't think it's fair to my kids. Teens don't like baby proof rooms. They like being able to leave their stuff the way they want and to decorate the way they want, and they can't do that with little ones in their rooms.
I wish I would have spent more time with my dad and learned how to do all of this stuff myself, because I would have finished it a long time ago, but I have no idea where to start. Once Brent puts the walls up and the floors down, I can finish it from there by myself. He went and priced the siding,and he said if I would get everything moved he would get started... so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping he will get it done this time.

I'm a survivor!

yes, you heard it right. I am a survivor! Yesterday, I had it to myself because my girls had gone clothes shopping. I managed to take 4 little ones inside the health department and inside the health check room that measured about 10x12 and put a double stroller in it , which left only about standing room. Not only was the room small it was cluttered...just right for the kids to explore and destroy and believe me they did...grrr
It was crazy. I took Bay and put her in the back of the stroller and for the most part she was a happy girl, Amber for whatever reason decided to scream at the top of her lungs for the whole two + hours we were there. She did not want to be in the stroller or held. She wanted to get down so she could get into everything. I do mean everything in that room . I also had Austin(my friend's 3 year old explorer) which was just as busy as Amber.
The dfcs workers tried to help by holding Amber,but that only made it worse. They tried everything to make her happy ,while I filled out the mountain of paperwork that they gave me to do. She screamed like someone was killing her. She managed to flip all the health pamphlets off the wall(including the shelves) and they all fell behind the file cabinets. She swept all the paper work off the nurses desk, and basically she managed to flip the room upside down... along with Austins help. They together, even managed to flip over the contaminated box. Luckily, I grabbed them both before they got exposed (yes ,I can turn into wonder woman when needed).
Austin, he would not stay put for more than a second. He kept running out of the room and down the dfcs halls. The room was so tight that I basically had to squeeze to get out of the door to catch him. He likes to hide and that building with all those offices is huge with many hiding places. I knew if he hid we would never find him. When I caught him(each time), I brought him back in the room and told him to sit down he would just scream "NO" in this high pitch voice and run right back out.
Trin, my little foster boy...thank Goodness he was very well behaved. He took his shot , blood work, finger stick, and TB test just like a little man. However, he wanted me to hold his hand each time, and at that moment I wished I was an octopus with more arms...grrr
Then it was Amber's turn. Amber was behind on shots. She needed 5 shots, blood work, finger stick,and a TB test. Now, she might look like a frail little one year old ,but she turns into hulk when she sees needles. It took all I had to hold her down for all of that and she still managed to kick me and the nurse.
Well, finally they tell us goodbye and I take them out to my hot van (it was in the mid 90's), I buckle them in their seats and both Amber and Austin started screaming at the same time, because they did not want to ride in their carseats. I managed to get them buckled and I pulled out on the main road and realized that they were paving the road. So we sat and waited 20+ minutes ,because they stopped my line when they got to me ,and didn't let me go through the 1st time. The van had not had enough time to cool, so the kids are all pouring sweat. Then, a migraine decides to hit me (full blown). Just as I thought it was my turn (because the sign man flipped the sign from stop to slow) and I hit my gas to go. Then he started flagging me down. He didn't realize he had the sign turned wrong. So I pulled back off the road. He comes over to my van, I roll down the window (and loose what cool air we had) ,and he tells me he is really sorry about that.
A little after 6pm, I finally got home from my 3:00 appointment. I walked in the door and handed the kids to Brent and I told him that I had to lay down... I was so sick. After a couple of doses of migraine meds, a shot of caffeine, and an hour or so in the dark...I felt like a brand new person.
Brent he was sweet, he didn't even ask me to start dinner. He just told me to lay there until I felt better and he said, "When you feel like it get up and I'll take you out for dinner".
If the Lord was testing my patience yesterday... I failed miserably.
However, I made it! I managed to handle the four and come out with every hair still in intact. I'm a survivor!!!!!

Happy Monday!!!!!

I just found a few minutes and wanted to stop in and say hello!!! I'm happy that I'm actually able to stay home this morning. DFCS arraigned a transporter to transport my kids to their visits today....yay!!!!! Today they have 3 scheduled appointments and they are not even back to back appointments. They will go this morning to two and then come back home and then go to another this afternoon. ..I think it's crazy. I'm just thankful I get to rest today.
As for the weekend, is was great!!!!! We were busy ,but it was so much fun!!!
On Friday, it was the normal out to eat and shopping. But on Saturday, we went to homespun. The kids had a good time. Jacob and Trin got to ride a pony for the first time and they enjoyed playing in the water until the fireworks started. The babies enjoyed watching everybody. I just enjoyed having ALL my kids there with me. It was just a good day.
On Sunday, we attended morning service and then went to Brent's family reunion. It was good seeing everybody there and the food was the best ever...lol
Now, I'm paying for eating all that food...grrrr I'm starting my diet today. I need to drop a few pounds before vacation time. Brent and his friend have planned a surprise vacation for next month. I have no idea where they are taking his friend's wife and I. I'm excited, but It feels strange not knowing how to pack. However, I know it's gonna be nice getting away for a few days. This will be Brent's 1st time flying, so that should be interesting.
Anyhow, I guess that is about all. I have a meeting with the casa in about an hour.
Have a great week!!!!!

Here are a few pics from the weekend.

Ode to a Homeschool Mom

As a wife, mother, and home educator
You are the embodiment of life, love, and laughter.
Even at times when you do not feel respected,
You are adored by the children you’ve directed.
Your chosen career means there is much to do,
For you are your children’s best teacher, too–
Training them to walk, to talk and say “please,”
Reading, writing, math, and social studies.
You can give a lesson and bake a cake
While tying a shoe and mending a break.
You take kids on field trips and nature hikes,
While setting up play days and movie nights.
Gathering books from the library, you strive
To read aloud and bring history alive.
Rather than measuring by height, grade or year,
You track their growth by the character they wear.
You are a modern “Renaissance woman”
Instructing every one of your children
In all of the fine arts and sciences
While you also pursue your own interests.
You are a housekeeper, nurse, cook, janitor,
Counselor, cheerleader, and a whole lot more.
You teach your children for most of the day,
And you listen to what they have to say.
You always put your family first
And do your best to fix every hurt.
Your heart is full of compassion showing
You are quite wise and always knowing.
Your life is not as glorious as some,
With many days taken up by tedium.
You rarely get what you truly deserve,
As anyone else would surely observe.
But even amid the worst of all days,
Happiness is found in a special way.
God is your strength and Jesus is your mentor;
As you honor Him, He blesses your endeavor.

by Teri Ann Berg Olsen

Prayer request

Hey prayer buddies,
Can you please help me pray for this request. Thank you all so much.
Hugs, Sandy
Prayer request I received-
My wife just informed me that the eye doctor has told her that she has Glaucoma which in the early stages and the doctor stated that with eye drops she could improve. Please pray for her.
From RV

From a friend

SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE MAKE DECISIONS
To control the outcome of anything,you control the action at the point of decision making.If you let others make decisions for you, you give up control.When you control the decisions, you control the actions.It's your life. You decide what you're going to do with it.If you don't run your own life, someone else will.You're in control of your life to the degree that you make decisions.Take charge of your life, so there is no longer a need to askpermission of others.When you ask permission, you are giving someone veto powerover your life.Take control and start making those decisions.Only you are responsible for your life.
------------------------------------------------------
A friend sent me this, and it soooooooo fit me right now. Please keep me in your prayers. I'm not really gonna go into detail, but I am asking you all to keep me in your prayers. I am trying to make some tough decisions and I want to decide what is best for my family and me. I know which ever way I go, it is gonna make a huge impact, but I think it is time that we need some changes, and sometimes change is not easy. I just want what is best for everybody, but most important, I want God's Will for my life. So please keep me in your prayers.
Hugs, Sandy

God's Eternal Ink

I dreamed I was in heaven
Where an angel kept God's book
He was writing so intently
I just had to take a look

It was not at first his writing
That made me stop and think
But the fluid in the bottle
That was marked eternal ink

This ink was most amazing
Dark black upon his blotter
But as it touched the parchment
It became as clear as water

The angel kept on writing
But as quickly as a wink
The words were disappearing
With that strange eternal ink

The angel took no notice
But kept writing on and on
He turned each page and filled it
Till all its space was gone

I thought he wrote to no avail
His efforts were so vain
For he wrote a thousand pages
That he'd never read again

And as I watched and wondered that
This awesome sight was mine
I actually saw a word stay black
As it dried upon the line

The angel wrote and I thought I saw
A look of satisfaction
At last he had some print to show
For all his earnest action

A line or two dried dark and stayed
As black as black can be
But strangely the next paragraph
Became invisible to see

The book was getting fuller
The angel's records true
But most of it was blank with
Just a few words coming through

I knew there was some reason
But as hard as I could think
I couldn't grasp the significance
Of that eternal ink

The mystery burned within me
And I finally dared to ask
The angel to explain to me
Of his amazing task

And what I heard was frightful
As the angel turned his head
He looked directly at me
And this is what he said

I know you stand and wonder
At what my writing's worth
But God has told me to record
The lives of those on Earth

The book that I am filling
Is an accurate account
Of every word and action
And to what they do amount

And since you have been watching
I must tell you what is true
The details of my journal
Are the strict accounts of YOU

The Lord asked me to watch you
As each day you worked and played
I saw you as you went to church
I saw you as you prayed

But I was told to document
Your life through all the week
I wrote when you were proud and bold
I wrote when you were meek

I recorded all your attitudes
Whether they were good or bad
I was sorry that I had to write
The things that make God sad

So now I'll tell the wonder
Of this eternal ink
For the reason for its mystery
Should make you stop and think

This ink that God created
To help me keep my journal
Will only keep a record of
Things that are eternal

So much of life is wasted
On things that matter not
So instead of my erasing
Smudging ink and ugly blot

I just keep writing faithfully and
Let the ink do all the rest
For it is able to decide
What's useless and what's best

And God ordained that as I write
Of all you do and say
Your deeds that count for nothing
Will just disappear away

When books are opened someday
As sure as heaven is true
The Lord's eternal ink will tell
What mattered most to you

If you just lived to please yourself
The pages will be bare
And God will issue no reward
For you when you get there

In fact you'll be embarrassed
You will hang your head in shame
Because you did not give yourself
In love to Jesus' Name

Yet maybe there will be a few
Recorded lines that stayed
That showed the times you truly cared
Sincerely loved and prayed

But you will always wonder
As you enter heaven's door
How much more glad you would have been
If only you'd done more

For I record as God sees
I don't stop to even think
Because the truth is written
With God's eternal ink

When I heard the angel's story
I fell down and wept and cried
For as yet I still was dreaming,
I hadn't really died.

And I said: O angel, tell the Lord
That soon as I awake
I'll live my life for Jesus
I'll do all for His dear sake!

I'll give in full surrender
I'll do all He wants me to
I'll turn my back on self and sin
And whatever isn't true.

And though the way seems long and rough
I promise to endure
I'm determined to pursue the things
That are holy, clean and pure.

With Jesus as my helper,
I will bring lost souls to Thee
For I know that they will live with Christ
For all eternity.

And that's what really matters
When my life on earth is gone
That I will stand before the Lord
And hear Him say "Well Done".

For is it really worth it
As my life lies at the brink
And I realize that God keeps books
With His "Eternal Ink"

Should all my life be focused
On things that turn to dust?
From this point on I'll serve the Lord;
I can, I will, I must!

I will NOT send blank pages
Up to God's majestic throne
For where that record's going now
Is my eternal home!

I'm giving all to Jesus,
I now have seen the link
For I dreamed an angel wrote my life
With God's "Eternal Ink".

Did someone say it's Monday?

These last few days (Thur-Sun)have been great!!!! I've enjoyed having the time off with just my kids(and my fosters)around me. But, just as everything was settling down and going good, Monday arrives....grrrr Well, back to the old routine and hustle and bustle that seem to clutter my day and life.
I got up early to take two if the fosters to a family visit. The little foster boy starts screaming and crying and saying he is not going to the visit. I explain to him that it's not my choice or his. He cries and stomps his feet. I make them both get their baths and they were both screaming at that point. Neither of these kids like taking baths. My kids have always loved baths, but not these two kids. So I have to make them bathe. Then I load them up for the 20 min drive to the office. The baby don't want to ride in her carseat and the boy hates having to buckle up, but I battle with them and finally we get on the road. We get there a little early. They had assigned us a 10am visit slot...which means one room is assigned to us for one hour of use. So at 9:50, I walked in the office and let the secretary know that we've arrived. I took my seat and I waited, waited, and waited. I waited about 15 minutes, but noone came. I got up and went back to the window to see why we haven't been called, because I knew the room was ready. The lady says that the worker is in a meeting. So I sat back down ,and waited a little longer. Well, I really didn't sit down ,because the baby kept running out of the waiting room to the water fountain...she loved pushing the button, and putting her hand up under the spout, so that the water would splash out. She ends up getting soaked and soaking her brother. It amazes me how she hates taking baths ,but loved playing in the water fountain...grrrr So Finally, I get up and shut the door so that she couldn't get to the fountain ,and she throws herself down on the dirty wet floor ,and goes into a screaming fit. At this point she looks filthy, because she had on white capris and the floor was kinda dirty from all the traffic in and out. I picked her up and I walked up to the other window (to the other secretary) and I told her that we were there and that their appointment was at 10am ,and I told her that I knew that their parents must be waiting, because I saw their car outside. She basically says okay,and she told me that their mom is in a meeting. So I set back down and wait. Finally, the door opens and their family walks out (some 40 minutes later) and they realize we are there. The case worker said she never knew I was there, because no one called back to let her know. So she takes the kids and their parents back to the room and I had to wait one more hour, so that the kids could visit with their parents. So for one hour, I drove around. yes, I waisted my gas, because I was so tired of setting in that office...grrrrrr Sometimes, I just get so frustrated. I feel like dfcs expects me to be on time and to do everything they tell me to do...and I do, but it seems they are always late, they forget our appointments, they give me the run around, and most of the time they don't return my calls, and they call this a partnership. It gets so frustrating at times.
So finally,I picked the kids back up, and the baby was thrilled to see me, but started back screaming when it came time to get in her carseat. She screamed almost all the way home. Now, we are home and I just got done making their lunch. I feel like I've waisted half a day.
So that is how Monday has gone for me so far. I hope the rest of the day goes better.
Update-
I feel ashamed of getting so frustrated today. As I set checking my emails, my little foster boy walked up beside me ,and he said, Mrs Sandy you are the best mom in the whole world. I felt about 1 inch tall. I should be ashamed of getting so aggravated today, but at times it is so hard not to. If everyone would just do their job, like I have to do, things would flow so much smoother. Well, I didn't feel like a very good mother today, but maybe I will work on that ,and be a better one tomorrow.

It's been a good looooong weekend

Ahhhhh, what a nice weekend. It's been one of those weekends that you wish you could just bottle it up and pour it out on a day that is not going so good. We've been busy ,but it has been a good busy. We've spent the last couple of days doing things as a family and that has been nice. On the 4th, we went to Helton Howland park for the fireworks show. I will have to say it was the very best one I've ever been to. We went last year but we didn't make it up to the actual park because it was so busy, but this year, we went into the park and it was really nice. We laid blankets on the ground and let the babies crawl around and the kids played. It was fun!
On Saturday, we took the kids to the lake. They played in the lake, in the sand,and on the playground. It was really nice. Now, we are just enjoying our evening. Brent cooked fish, hamburgers, and hot dogs on the grill and we are about to shoot our own fireworks. We were gonna do it lastnight, but Jacob spent the night with Anna and we wanted him to get to see them.
This morning, Corey took Jacob fishing. He really enjoyed that. It was Jacob's 1st time to spend the night away from us in years.
Well, I'm about to give the babies their baths. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend. Here are a few of our pics from these last 2 days.

Happy 4th of July!

Watch a fireworks show
http://www.fireworkspop.com/

Thank God for the rain!!!!

Finally, we got some much needed rain. God is good!!!!
The kids enjoyed playing in it!!!

I am a KEPT Woman

You see, there were a few times when I thought I would lose my mind,
But GOD kept me sane. (Isa. 26:3)


There were times when I thought I could go no longer,
But the LORD kept me moving. (Gen 28:15)


At times, I've wanted to lash out at those whom I felt had hurt me and done me wrong,
But the LORD kept my mouth shut. (Psa. 13)


Sometimes, I think the money just isn't enough,
But GOD has helped me to keep the bills paid, gas in the van,and the kids fed, etc.., (Matt. 6:25 -34)

When I thought I would fall, HE kept me up.
When I thought I was weak, HE kept me strong! (I Pet. 5:7, Matt. 11:28-30)


I could go on and on and on, but I'm sure you hear me!
I'm blessed to be "kept."


I'm Kept by the Love and Grace of God!

What you do with now

It is not your fault. But it is your responsibility.
The choices you have made have brought you to where you are now. And so have other factors that are completely beyond your control.

There's nothing to be gained by blaming yourself for the way your life has unfolded. There's everything to be gained by actively taking full responsibility for the way your life proceeds.

The route you traveled to this point no longer matters, for nothing can be done to change it. What truly matters is what you do with now.

Life is always unpredictable, yet there's something you can count on. The more sincerely and diligently you give yourself to the living of it, the more life will go your way.

In this moment is every possibility. Take responsibility for it all, and bring the best of those possibilities to life.

-- R. Marston

Another day in Howellville

Just wanted to stop by and say hello! It's been a good week but a busy one. Today is the first free day that I've had...no appointments...yay!!!!! It is so nice to get up and not have to be anywhere.
They have me scheduled for four family visits a week now and Bay started her overnights this week. She spent her 1st night with her mother on Tuesday. I missed her more than I can say. It was so strange not having her here and not knowing how she was doing. The case worker brought her home on Wednesday.She was all smiles when she saw me and once I got her, all I wanted to do was hold her. I just want to hold her as long as I can while she is here. I just love her so much. She is such a sweet baby and it has been a blessing having her. However, I just can't imagine her leaving us. I am praying God will give me peace with it and to help me through it. The good news is that her mom wants us to stay active in her life and I hope that will never change. She said we can see her anytime we want. I think it will help us just to be able to see her and know she is okay after she leaves us.
Anyhow, enough on that.
Did you see the beautiful cake above? Ashley and samantha cooked it. It was their first time to cook a cake and they done it by themselves. My girls have gotten to where they love to cook, and they have gotten to where they cook dinner almost everynight. No, I don't make them do my job...they want to cook. I think they are all gonna love cooking, just like my Nanny does. Nanny would rather cook than do anything else and when she is not cooking ,she is sick. I don't really love cooking, but I do it. I've been cooking since I was just a kid myself.
Ashley said the other day,"I just love cooking" and I said, "And I just love letting you cook"...lol
Anyhow, I guess I'll get off now. I'm thinking about taking the kids to do something fun. I don't have that many free days and when I do, I love doing things with my kids. I hope you all have a good day!

You must be homeschooled if...

You Must Be Homeschooled If...
Someone asks what grade you're in and you're not sure.
You sometimes go to school in your pajamas.
You sleep till 9:00 am on school days, but get up early on Sundays.
Your favorite author is Jane Austen (girls) or Robert Louis Stevenson (boys).
You own the entire series of Saxon Math books.
Your birthday is an official school holiday.
You don't get to stay home from school when you're sick.
You are unaware of the current fads, fashions, and slang terms.
Your favorite activity is reading.
You know what a unit study is.
Watching a movie means you'll have to write a report comparing the film to the book.
You dress up as historical or literary characters for Halloween.
You exchange e-mail Valentines with your homeschool pen pals.
Your room looks like a science lab.
You can get science credit for going to the dentist.
You go to the park for P.E.
You check out at least ten books every time you visit the library.
You have ever attempted to teach yourself physics.
You have no idea what rock bands are currently popular.
You get books and science kits for your birthday.
You know what Latin roots are.
Your board games all have names like "Bookworm", "Scrabble", "S'math", "Game of Knowledge", and "Name The State".
Your home library is arranged in Dewey Decimal order.
Your favorite place to study is outside, under a tree.
You can quote lines from Shakespeare, but not from South Park.
You memorize math formulas for fun.
You never get nervous on the first day of school.
The only bully you ever run into is your big brother.
You don't have to remember a locker combination, just your computer password.
It takes you less than a minute to walk to school.
You don't have to worry about forgetting anything - you can just run back to your room and get it.
Your school bus is a van.
There are only six students in your class - but all of them are your brothers and sisters.
You have a 12-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a 2-year old in the same class.
You can get extra credit for cleaning your room.