A dumpy post

Well, I really have nothing to tell you exciting. It's been a pretty calm week. I have actually been home almost the whole week, which has really been nice. I've managed to clean up the house and organize a little.
Now the sad part is I've spent the last two days packing Bay's stuff. It has been really hard. I am not sending everything because I may have to have some of this stuff if we ever get another foster baby. Before, I always sent everything with the kids home and went out and bought new stuff each time, but that has cost me a fortune...much more than the $14.60 that the state gives us to take care of these kids. But, I want her to have all of the clothes that fit her now and I want her to have EVERYTHING that she needs. I even want her to have the thousands of pictures we've taken of her while we had her. Also, I kept her a baby book and saved all of her hospital bands, shirts, blankets, homecoming outfit, etc. I went out and bought a couple of the large pink rubbermaid containers to store her stuff in. So I started sorting through and trying to find up everything I want her to have and it is so very sad. A friend came in while ago and she ask me was I excited about my upcoming vacation and I honestly had to say no ,because my vacation is the day after Bay leaves and if it weren't for this vacation we would have a few more days with her. Honestly, I'd rather stay home and love Bay as much as I can... I can go on vacation anytime. (Just don't tell my hubby ,because he would be so disappointed. He has had this planned for us .)
Well, I'm feeling a little dumpy today. I think it really hit me as I packed up her tiny things and to know I may never get to hold her again or tuck her in bed at night after she leaves...that breaks my heart. I pray we will. I pray that we will get to stay in her life for the rest of ours, but at this point it is totally up to her mom and most moms just want to be as far as they can from anyone associated with dfcs.
It's just sad...really sad. Bay is a precious part of our lives and no matter what she will always be our baby. I don't think we could have loved her anymore if we had, had her ourselves. But, I don't regret anything and if I could, I would do it all over again (even as bad as it hurts), I would. Just continue to pray for us and forgive me if I seem dumpy, because I don't really mean to be.
Well, as I said, I really have nothing exciting to share. It's been a pretty calm week.
As for the weekend, well I really don't have any great plans. I think Brent is taking the boys to the rodeo and I may try to take the little kids to the mall. Trin has been begging for a webkin and he has his money saved to get one, so I may try to take him shopping and while I'm there get the kids fall clothes bought up.
Plus, I have 5 birthdays in the next two weeks that I also need to get prepared for.
Anyway, gotta run...the little kids are fussing. Have a great day!