Profoundly loved...

I will never forget the day that I got the call. It was our pediatrician Dr Murry. She was calling to let me know after several blood draws that the results came back positive to CMV. She explained his condition and then she told me that it was highly likely that the infection had affected his ears as well as other organs. I remember the devastation I felt that day. No he wasn't my biological kid and I had no idea at that point that we would be adopting him but he was mine at the moment and I was all he had. I just remember laying on the couch with him asleep on my chest and feeling such extreme sadness. It was that very day that I decided to scream. Scream as loud as I could. I wanted him to respond. Cry, laugh, jump. Just anything as long as he responded. So I yelled, and he never moved. I tried to yell louder. As loud as I possible could. He didn't wake up. No jump. No response. I knew then that it was true. CMV had taken my babies hearing.

Dr Murry wanted us to take Blaze to see an ENT. She actually sent us on to Children's for an OAE test. Blaze failed the test. Then she sent us back to Children's for a sedated ABR test. Half was through the test Blaze had a seizure so they stopped the testing and admitted him to Children's but what results they got back didn't look positive. A few months later, after taking kepra and getting his seizures under control he was admitted back into Children's for another sedated ABR. This time the results came back and once again Blaze failed. Our child wasn't mildly impaired, or moderately, not even severely, no his hearing loss was profound.