Update

Anna with PawPaw Howell (My father-in-law)
Christmas 2008

Just wanted to update you all...


Yesterday, we made the trip to see Brent's Dad. This is the first time we've seen him since he had his stroke. He had not wanted any of us to come before now because he didn't want his kids to see him that way.

However,He is doing much better. He still is having problems with his right leg and arm and with some of his words. He is out of the rehabilitation center, but he still has therapy 3 days a week for 3 hours. He seemed happy to see us. We went over to his three story shop, that he is building ,and he showed us around it ,and told us all about it ,and the kids really enjoyed that. We stayed a few hours and then came home.

Corey and Anna are doing better. It's just made it hard that it happened right here at Christmas time. However, we've kept ourselves so busy that we haven't had as much time to just set and dwell on it. They spent last week with us and they spent the weekend with Corey's Dad & step-mom, so that has kinda helped them ,being surrounded by the ones that love them dearly.

Here is what happened...

We knew something wasn't just right on Tuesday and when Anna went in, they couldn't find the baby's heart beat. After two sonograms, they broke the news that the baby no longer had a heart beat and had passed sometime in those last few days. It was a complete shock, because Anna had just had a sonogram two weeks ago and everything was perfect. Even these two sonograms seemed perfect except for the heart beat. The baby hadn't grown much, but they could see the baby on the sonogram and it looked like a perfect little baby with it's little hands and feet, etc

However, from the beginning, I had an uneasy feeling ,because Anna hadn't gained any weight and just kept loosing, even though she was eating just right and taking the best care possible of herself and body. Plus, she didn't have any moring sickness or any other signs she was expecting(which I'm so thankful for now). But all the normal signs just weren't there. I thought maybe it was because I had prayed God would give her an easy pregnancy .Then when the doctor done the 1st sonogram and assured us everything was just fine, we settled in with the idea that a little miracle was gonna be added to our family and we were thrilled.

Little did we know, life was gonna change...quickly.

Anna called me on Tuesday and she told me she was on the way to the doctor ,because something just wasn't right and she said, "Mama, just don't worry". So I tried not to think about it and went on with my house cleaning, gift wrapping, etc. Then the day rocked on, and I still hadn't heard a word. Finally, that evening, I said Ashley I can't wait any longer, please go call them for me. She did, and I knew the moment I looked on Ashley's face that something was wrong. She handed me the phone and I couldn't understand anything they were saying ,because they were so upset. At that moment,I just knew. It was one of the hardest things to know my children were hurting, and yet I couldn't do anything to make it go away.

They told Anna to go home ,but to be back at 6 am in the morning. We went with her Wednesday morning and they admitted her to terminate. It was just so real and just so very sad. We pictured ourselves in the hospital celebrating a birth, and never dreamed we would instead be letting go. It was hard because this baby was very loved and very wanted from the start.

I know it's gonna take a while to get over this and to move forward. However, We've been through a lot over the last few years, and I know for that we are a stronger family and in tough times we stick together more than ever.

Anna goes back to the doctor next week and we are eagerly awaiting the test results from all the blood work they done in the hospital. They gave us a lot of info and we've been researching it and trying to take it all in. I'll tell you more about that a little later after all the test come in.

Just continue to pray for complete healing for my father-in-law and continue to lift Corey and Anna up in your prayers.

I hope you all had a good Christmas and I hope your New Year is the best yet.

Please pray that this new year will be a better one for our family, because these last few have been really trying for us.