Ahhhhh what a wonderful day!

Just two kids today and boy it's nice. It's not that I mind the kids, because I adore them, but it's nice when you have a day off, like this. It is so quiet and I am actually able to do what I've been needing to do for days ,which is catch up on my housework and rest. When you have a lot of kids in and out all day, you feel like all you do is clean all day, but it doesn't show. You get one end of the house tidy, but turn around and the other end is messy...it's a back and forth 24/7 kind of thing and it drives me nuts. If it were up to me, I'd have nothing in my house but what we have to have to live, because I am so tired of cleaning the same things over and over every day.
This week didn't start off so well. Tuesday, Jacob's little friend Joseph came over to play and he busted his head open and had to go to the hospital for stitches. He was trying to flip on the trampoline and flipped into the bar. Then Jon's friend Baily B, put baby Bailey on the couch and let her fall off...which scared me to death. She already had a bruised head from the accident over the weekend.
My stress level for the last couple of weeks has been like top floor. So having this day to rest is like having a looong vacation on a deserted Island.., yay!
Speaking of vacation.... I really need one. Brent and Lee are planning some kind of special trip for us (Judy and me) to somewhere special, but I'm not sure where. I really hope it's not a cruise because I'm afraid I'd get sick. I hope it's by plane, but who knows, Brent is scared of planes. It is suppose to be a surprise. They have Mindy helping them plan it, is all I know. It will be nice to get away, but I don't know what we will do with the kids for those days. I think we are going sometime in August.
However, I really just want to take a family vacation. I want to take the kids to the beach. We haven't been in a couple of years and it is really needed. They begged us last year, but Brent was so sick the whole year and didn't have any vacation days left.
Brent is still having problems and is sick right now. He sounds like he has fluid in his lungs again when he breathes. He really needs the surgery that they want to do on him, but he keeps putting it off. I don't know why he won't go and get it over with, but he is a grown man and he is going to do just what he wants to do.
Yesterday, DFCS called me and ask me to keep 2 girls just for the weekend. I agreed that I would "just for the weekend". Come to find out they are the same two that the state wanted me to take permanently, a couple of weeks ago. They have numerous problems, which scared me off from accepting them. They also have a baby sister 15 months old, that I did keep for a few days and may get back in a few weeks. They also have a new baby sister or brother that is due in three months that will also be going into state care. So I guess we will see how it goes. I just wonder if they are thinking that I'll take the older girls and then change my mind and want to keep them permanently. I would have probably said yes,until the other county told me all I would have to do, and I knew that would mean I would be on the road almost everyday seeking medical help and counciling and that would be a lot of work and stress on me.
I just wish I could just keep Bailey and adopt her, and I probably would just quit fostering , because it is so hard. However, I'm almost positive she will be leaving us by August. I really hoped that we would find just a little girl that we could keep forever, but so far that has not been God's will for us. God knows what our future holds and it may be where he sees it would be hard on us with an extra kid . I am just at the point to where I really don't know what I want to do anymore. I love the kids that fostering has brought to us, but I hate the stress that the system adds to our lives every day. It's always something that comes up for me to do and it makes it really hard to just enjoy fostering.
Well, I guess I should get off here and get started. This is one of those days that you wish you could just bottle up and pour it out just when you need it the most.