I'm excited about Christmas...

How can it be? Really?!?! only 49 more days to go? Woo Hoo! I am so excited. I haven't been this excited since...well I can't remember when. I'm looking forward to the whole Holiday season. I know some say you are suppose to celebrate one holiday at a time...Thanksgiving...Christmas...New Year. Well, trust me I do. Every day is Thanksgiving in my heart.  I'm way more thankful than just one day a year. I thank God every day sometimes all through out the day. Christmas is just one day set aside to celebrate Jesus' birth. I celebrate that every day too. I'm so thankful that Jesus came to this Earth so that sinners like me could be saved. I need more than just one day to celebrate such an event. God has just been so good to me. Oh, and yes New Year too. Every New Year is a new chance to start over fresh and new...that's always a good thing. So I say let's celebrate every day!

When I lost my brother Robby, it never really felt the same at Christmas time. It felt like a dark heavy cloud hung over my family especially during the holidays. Then I lost my Nanny (The heart of the family). My very best friend and the one person who loved me unconditionally. Then one month later, I lost my younger brother unexpectedly. Even though he had just turned 30 he was still the baby of our family.  So after so much loss in such a short time, the holidays didn't feel the same. The joy felt like it left us. We were told many times that we needed to move on(trust me I tried and wanted to),but sometimes that's easier said then done. Until you've walked in my family's shoes, then you could never comprehend what we've gone through. I thought I would never get my joy back. I had prayed about it many times and even questioned where God was in my sadness.  It's still sad to think about Christmas without them...even now.  It honestly is not the same and it never will be again and nothing can change that. We are adjusting and with each year it is getting better. This is the first year that I've been this excited about Christmas in a very long time. So let's celebrate!

Yes, I'm one of those people you've been hearing about on facebook. We've been playing Christmas music already and we've purchased a few gifts for the ones we love. We haven't decorated the tree yet and that will wait until after Thanksgiving day (so our tree won't die before Christmas). I've seen many things on facebook about people not taking one holiday at a time and people skipping over Thanksgiving and maybe they are, and some may think I have. Well, it's not so.  I'm going to celebrate all of these holidays every single day!  If it was up to me we would keep the house decked out all year in Christmas decor (because I love it so much), sing songs about my Jesus,while I  raise my hands to Heaven and Thank God for all He has done for me. That really should be what Thanksgiving and Christmas is all about. What I wonder is how people can celebrate only one day a year... I can't!

Now for the updates...

This week, we took our Blazer back to the Autism center to meet with their doctors ( for a second opinion) and this time they confirmed to us what we had been told by our neurologist and pretty much expected, but didn't really want to. Blaze has autism.  They are recommending him to start a new therapy on top of what we are already doing...so yes even more appointments  but that's ok. I will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I can to make Blaze's life as easy, comfortable, and as happy as it can be, even if it does mean therapy almost every single day now. The new therapy (ABA) has proven to work really well for kids like mine. So bring on the therapy. 

This chart may look hopeless if your child falls on the further end. However, it has been proven that children who fall anywhere on this chart can improve with proper and early intervention. Children on Blaze's end may have smaller and less noticeable improvements then those children who are on the other end of the chart. I am a HUGE advocate for therapy. Blaze has pretty much been in therapy his whole life. I credit therapy for him doing as well as he is today and of course he got blessed with the most amazing therapists ever. Three of them have been with us from day one of his journey. I think the more therapy the better outcome. Think of the Autism Spectrum as a rope instead of a chart. Kids that are less severe are at the top of the rope, hanging on. It's still a struggle for them every day to just hang on and keep climbing. Kids at the bottom of the rope have it even harder and it's going to take them even  longer and more time to climb, but with the proper help (therapy & support) their climb may/can get easier then it would be with no help at all. Many can move up the rope (Improve). Then you have a few that won't ever be able to climb (because they may have more to deal with than just autism, have delayed intervention, etc). This is why early evaluations and intervention is so very important and it's worth trying regardless of where your child is on the rope.

Some good came out of the appointment. They asked if I would be willing to take Blaze over to the hospital for some lab work. They are going to test Blaze for several different things. They think he may have some type of syndrome that has gone undiagnosed, that might explain why he has so many different diagnoses. Some syndromes have a link to Autism, so they are curious. They were VERY interested in my Blazer...he tends to have that effect on people. They also referred us to a genetics doctor for more studies. Way back when we first realized Blaze was sick we had taken him to see a specialist over at Emory for an evaluation and she had mentioned then that she thought Blaze may have some type of syndrome, but she never pushed for more testing, and we only saw her 2 times. These tests may or may not answer some of our questions. Regardless, he is still the most amazing kid I've ever known and he has brought so much joy to us all.

My friend Amanda asked me the other day how I stay so strong with all I have on my plate. I've been asked this so many times. I don't think I'm that strong. I just deal with things one day at a time and I give it all to God. Honestly, it's God. He is my strength and hope. I knew when I adopted Blaze that the future was uncertain and that most likely he would need life long care. I accepted him just as he was when I signed the adoption papers.  I told the doctor at Marcus and some of his other doctors, that if this is as good as Blaze will ever be,  then he is already way better than ever predicted. How could I ever complain? However, I think Blaze has a lot more potential than some may think and I've seen my child do several things they told me he would never do. That's God folks! He still hears and answers prayers. He knows my precious baby and he knows my heart. I think as hard as I have worked with this child that God sees my effort and blesses it. Life is not always easy and some don't have the strength I have or the load I carry every day, but oh so many more have so much more to deal with every day. God has carried me each time I couldn't find my feet or strength to keep going on. I just wonder how people who don't have God make it through each day. God is for sure my strength and to HIM goes all the glory.

I had planned to write more but I've got to go. I have plans with my sweet grandbabies this evening.

But before I go, I've got to share my Bookie-Shae's pictures...

 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6