I've met the parents...

I met my five year old fosters new adoptive parents today. I think they are going to be just right for him. In all of my 7 years of fostering I have never set in on an adoption/matching party. This was all new to me. It was interesting to say the least.

Our lil guy will start his visits next weekend and then next month he will move home. His family is coming to our house next Saturday to spend some time with him. DFCS thinks this will make it easier if he visits first in our home. I feel a little awkward having complete strangers in my home. You would think after what I've been through with fostering and home nursing that I would be use to it, but you never get use to it, and for some reason I just feel funny about these people coming to my home. Maybe I'll get over it by next weekend...maybe.

A lot of people have questioned us as to why we aren't adopting him ourselves. I'm not going to give a lot of details on his case because for one it's not something to share and DFCS would crawl my skin. But, I was asked that again today at the round table meeting. Here is how I explained it to his new family/ CASA/DFCS...

We were next in line to adopt JJ( after family) but we have chosen not to. When JJ came to us at age 4 he was on about a 20 month-24 month old level. He was very far behind. Without going into all the details, I can simply say he wasn't getting all that he needed and therefore he was taken into foster care. Foster kids come with baggage and a lot of hidden scars and needs. Things that will need to be worked on for years to come.  I worked VERY VERY VERY hard trying to get him caught up, potty trained, and I tried to pour 5 years of knowledge into this child in one year's time. He has came a loooooong ways. But, he still has a loooooooooooong ways to go. Although he is five years old, he is still more like a three year old in many ways. He needs a lot of one on one time and I just can't provide that at this time (not in the amount he really needs, wants, and deserves). A year ago my situation was much different and I had more time, but now with two special needs babies my hands are full. I think it would be very selfish of us to keep him, because we are not the perfect family for him. As much as everyone disagrees, we aren't.  He needs to be the baby of his family (he will be!) because he craves attention so bad.  He would be better as the only boy (he will be!).He just plays better with girls(He & Jacob do not get along at all).  He needs a lot of one on one (his new mom is a school teacher, but she plans to homeschool him!). This will benefit him because he really struggles in public school and needs one on one that public school just can't seem to provide.  I truly believe this is a perfect match (yay!!!!!). Not only that, but he looks just like his new mom. It is so weird. I have never seen anyone look so much alike that have no relation. The CASA said she thought the same thing when mom came in the room. I was told that Brylee and our grown foster Samantha look just like me, but JJ looks more like his new mom than Brylee or Samantha has ever looked like me. I think his new family will be so surprised when they meet him face to face. Right now he's just their paper child:).

Please keep JJ & his new family in your prayers. This is going to be a huge adjustment but I truly believe with all my heart that this is the very best thing we can do for JJ.


Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6