Just another day in Howellville....

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Our Summer Bucket List...

Summer is almost here! It's just right around the corner. Every year, I make a summer To-Do List with the kids. Since it seems like everyone on blogger has a "Bucket List" , I thought I'd join in too. So here is our 2012 Summer Bucket List. We probably won't be able to do everything on this list, but then again we might:)  We for sure won't have a "Boring" or "I don't have anything to do" kind of summer.

Our Kids 2012 "Summer Bucket List"
1.Catch the Ice Cream truck when it comes down.  Done!
2.Have a sleep over with friends. Done!
3.Catch Lightning Bugs.  Done!
4.Go to the theatre and watch a "kids" movie.
5.Blow bubbles. Done!
6.Play on the slip-n-slide.
7.Fill up the kiddy pools. Done!
8.Watch fireworks. Done!
9.Eat Watermelon Done!
10.Camp out in our own back yard.
11.Make smores & roast hot dogs.
12.Eat Popsicles. Done!
13.Make forts with blankets. Done!
14.Play at the park. Done!
15.Attend Vacation Bible School. Done!
16.Play with Sparklers. Done!
17.Go on a picnic. Done!
18.Go swimming. Done!
19.Go fishing.
20.Play with side walk chalk. Done!
21.Visit the fountains. Done!
22.Play with water balloons.
23.Visit the library and borrow a few fun  craft/ creative books. Done!
24.Run through the sprinklers.
25.Make homemade  ice cream.
26. Splash in a puddle. Done!
27.Take a road trip to somewhere. Done!
28. Have the best summer ever! Still working on this one!!!!!!!!


Mom's Summer Bucket List
A few other things I would like to do...
1.Go spend the day with Maxine / swimming.
2.Visit Jelly Stone Park Done!
3.Take the kids to White Water.
4.Visit Sun Valley Beach.
5.Go to the cabin with Eric & Monica's family.
6.Finish our 5th bedroom (this just always seems to get put off)
7.Go visit my Aunt Linda.
8.Take the kids to Rocky Branch
9.Visit the aquarium
10. Visit Pine Mountain

 I want this to be a summer to remember not only for my kids but also the fosters:)

kids only have one childhood,

 let's make it a great one.

Now, let's get started. We have a wonderful summer ahead:)
Have a great summer everyone!

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Update on the fosters...

I wanted to stop in and give you all an update. As many of you have read, Z started overnights with his birth mom last week. In a few more weeks he will probably leave us. This is not the way we thought it would go. We did not plan and never dreamed that Z would stay with us this long and then be taken from us. It's not suppose to work like this (according to state law 15 out of 22). At the 15th month mark, the judge told DFACS to file the TPR. Well, due to no available court dates ( We were told) they couldn't file it at that time. We were told we would have to wait but that we had nothing to worry about. Well, at the 18th month hearing the TPR still wasn't filed (although we were led to believe it was). At the 18th month mark the judge surprised everyone and dropped the TPR plan. She decided to give birth mom another 3 months, even though we had already started the process to adopt Z and thought in our hearts that he was ours forever.  It came as a complete shock to DFACS, GAL, and our CASA. All three disagreed with the judge's decision.

I'm still in shock. I don't even know what to think or feel anymore. We didn't sign up to adopt children (when we became foster parents) but we never said that we wouldn't. We just said that we would take it case by case. But, we also didn't sign up to raise a kid for years . We were asked by DFACS when Z was a little less than a year old if we were interested in adopting him. Yes! was our answer. What else would we say? He had been with us since he was 1 month old and now he is almost two years old. He is like ours and we LOVE him with all of our hearts. Our whole family loves him. We can't imagine living without him.

I'm angry and heart broken. I'm trying not to be (and I hide it well), but deep down I am.  I'm furious with our judge. How can she build us up and then go back after she agreed to TPR?   I'm angry at a system that is messed up and failing to many of our children. At last count our county has 16 TPR cases waiting to be heard. That's ridiculous. I'm angry with DFACS for leading us to believe that the TPR was filed and that Z was here forever. I'm angry with the birth mom because she has taken almost 4 times the amount of time it takes to do a case plan (and she's still not done). I'm angry because she wasn't even trying  for over a year (even with everything being done to help her) but once TPR was mentioned she decided to start the case plan.

Kids need to be reunited with their birth families if possible . I'm all for reunification. But, I think there needs to be a time limit on it and I think the rules need to be changed and laid out more clearly. I don't think any child should stay in the foster care system for years especially when there are willing and loving families to adopt them. It's not right to them or us. At Z's next hearing he will have been with us 21 out of 22 months of his life.  I think one year is plenty enough time for a parent to get their act together but two & three years is ridiculous. It only takes about 6 months to do a case plan. This is why the state can't keep foster parents and why the ones we do have are so discouraged & over loaded.

I'm not even going to tell you about Z's feelings. You can just imagine. He has no say so. We loose him, but he is loosing everything that he has ever known. His world is upside down and we can't do a single thing about it. His whole personality has changed since we started overnights. He is angry. We have seen a side of him that we've never seen and we've had him since he was 1 month old. Please keep praying for our little Z and us.

As far as JJ, yes he too is "supposed" to be going to TPR, probably next month (we will see about that) but we won't be attending any of the hearings. We were asked if we were interested in adopting him, but our answer is no :( After a long heart to heart talk with and without our children, we have decided this is what's best for him & us. You've got to understand that we've been through 2 failed adoptions now ( Bailey & now Z) and it hasn't gotten easier.
JJ will be staying with us until he is matched with his forever family (If it goes to TPR). I told them he is welcome to stay as long as he needs. I also asked to meet his forever family and to have him transitioned very slowly there, just to be sure it's a perfect match. I just pray they don't transition him until he is officially free for adoption, because I don't want another family to get their hopes up and then it fall apart like Z's case. Please don't think that we don't care about JJ ,because we do more than you know, but for now, we just need some time to heal our hearts and decide what our future holds.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I believe God has a perfect plan for all of our lives. Sometimes we can't understand it and it doesn't always make sense to us.  However, I just have to accept what is as it is...God's Will.


Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Thank you...

To those who served in the past

or are serving as I type.

Thank You!

Thank You!

Thank You!

Thank you for what you've done for me.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Update on Baby B...

I took BB back to Children's yesterday to meet with his new gastroenterologist /hepatology team. We didn't learn that much. The doctor took more labs and mostly labs aimed toward the liver. He explained that the labs last week were higher elevated than the ones taken before and he is concerned. He said our next step is to just wait on these labs to come back (In about a week). If they come back better we are going to do nothing but watch and wait to see if the liver repairs itself. If they come back worse, then he wants to admit BB for more testing & a biopsy of the liver. Some of BB's doctors don't believe the hemangiomas, swollen liver, and swollen spleen are related to the congenital CMV. His pediatrician and the CDC doctors think he may have some type of syndrome, but they haven't figured it out yet.
So now we wait again. This has been the loooooongest process. I just want to know exactly what is wrong with BB.
Today, our little guy weighed 11.8 lbs and is 22 inches long today!


Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Brylee's Story...

 

Oh so true...

I made it through a very tough week. Between the health scare with BB, BB's appointments, Z's allergies/asthma , Z's first overnight  with birth mom, my migraines that just won't stop, trying to keep up with school, my home and family life, all of that together has really tested me to the max. But, I made it! I'm still here and taking life one day at a time, when life lets me. As for today, I'm enjoying my last calm day at home. Tomorrow starts up the next round of doctor and hospital appointments. Tomorrow we go for a follow up on BB's hospital stay. Then Thursday, we are hospital bound again and I am not looking  forward to it. I've been trying not to think about it. Not only am I scared of what I might hear about him, but I'm scared of that drive to Atlanta. I drove it at 4 AM last week (with a friend talking me through it), and even with very little traffic it stressed me out. So I can't imagine morning traffic. Please pray for both of us. Driving is a real fear for me...that's why I waited until age 35 to drive. I never dreamed I would ever drive outside of my own little community, but Atlanta, well I never dreamed & never planned for that. I guess you do what you've got to do. My Hubby has to work and he can't take any days off. Lord help us. We are going to need prayers to get through this.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Update on our baby...

Just wanted to update you all on BB our foster baby. On Thursday (May 17), I took BB walking and I looked down and found him turning purple. He had started having seizures and stopped breathing. We called 911 and was taken to Children's in Atlanta. We are home now. We got released yesterday. He is now on seizure medicines twice daily and we hope that he never ,ever ,ever has another one. Nothing has ever scared me that bad. They believe this is just one more thing that CMV has caused.
His next trip to Atlanta is this coming Thursday. He will be seeing a liver doctor at Children's. We don't know what to expect from it. Am I nervous? Yes. When I called to speak with the scheduler she went on and explained to me where I needed to be on Thursday and she said just come on up to the transplant floor. My heart skipped. Please pray for BB. Pray that his liver and spleen will regain their function and no transplant will be needed. He has been through enough already.
No he is not my child ,but while he is here in my home, he is. He is precious to me. He depends on me for everything. It breaks my heart watching him have to go through all of this. No baby should have to go through what he already has. Thanks for the prayers.

Update on our baby...

Our baby foster needs lots of prayers. He was admitted to Children's in Atlanta on Tuesday for  more testing. Due to the length of his sedation and  problems with it, he wasn't able to have all the tests done that they wanted ,but the ones they did do, did not come back good. He is not well. We just don't know exactly how sick he is. It seems every test just leads to more  questions and more testing. We will be meeting with a couple more specialist some time within the next few days and hopefully they will be able to tell us more about our special little guy. Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

On the upside, he is two months now and he is starting to smile and coo and it is just precious. He is so cuddly and lovable. He is for sure a miracle and we are blessed to be his foster family.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Cute pic...

"Carter & his mommy"

I snuck this pic off of Samantha's facebook.

I just thought it was to stinkin' cute:)

I love them.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Let's walk...

He wanted to go out so bad...so we did!

We buckled him & Carter in the stroller

and took them on a walk.

Friends from the start:)

I LOVE him!

When you walk,

don't forget your camera.

You never know what you might see.

You might miss something

BEAUTIFUL.

All things bright & beautiful,

All creatures great & small,

All things wise & wonderful,

The Lord God made them all.

~Cecil Alexander

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

This is what 11 months looks like...

It's hard to believe our lil Carter is already 11 months old. 11 months already! Yes, it's true. He's turning in to quite a little man:) This little guy is extra special. He has overcame all the obstacles that most preemies do. He is a survivor. He is amazing and wonderful....just ask his PawPaw & MeMe :) We love you lil Carter man bigger than the sky!

Oh, The Places You'll Go.
From The Dr. Seuss book:)

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.

You're off to Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting,

So... get on your way!

So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)

Kid you'll move mountains!

You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.

Things may happen and often do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

It's opener, out there, in the wide, open air.

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. Oh! The places you'll go.

Fame you'll be famous, as famous as can be, with everyone watching you win on TV, Except when they don't because sometimes they won't.

And when you're alone there's a very good chance

you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants

There are some, down the road between hither and yon,

that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

― Dr. Seuss, Oh the places you'll go!

   

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

It was a sweet Mother's Day...

I had such a sweet Mother's Day yesterday. I enjoyed a wonderful day with my children and in the evening with my own Mom. My Hubby surprised me with new bushes for the front of our house (something I've been wanting / we've needed for a while). He bought me one for each of our children. How sweet was that? It was just so sweet. He's a keeper that's for sure.

The kids surprised me with the sweetest cards & gifts and the best of all, their time, kisses & hugs. I am so blessed. I can't thank God enough for my blessings, Samantha, Anna, Katie, Ashley, Jon, and Jacob. I am so thankful that God gave them to me. Without them I wouldn't be a Mom.

Then my precious church family at Beulahland Baptist Church brought tears to my eyes. They really touched my heart with these beautiful flowers and this sweet poem.

It was for sure a Mother's Day that I will never forget. I am blessed much more than I deserve and "Thank You" just seems so small. God has been good to me, so good!

What does the poem say?

Changing One Little Life

(Mama Sandy)

The phone call comes in. "Do you have enough room?" For one more young child that needs a home very soon. They may come to the door, tattered or bruised: their clothes are all dirty; maybe wearing no shoes...you welcome them in with a smile on your face; they'll have to adjust at their very own pace. Their life has been a hard, rocky road. Somehow you must help to lighten their load. They are going to need you to care for them now,so deep in your heart you silently vow- To make their life better than what they have now, to again make them smile, though you're wondering how.Each new day brings anger, sadness, and joy. You pray that your love can help this young child. Sometimes it seems that you're getting nowhere, and you wonder why God said, "Send this child there".

After an especially trying day when you're sure there must be an easier way, into the room, you hear footsteps now come, with a shy hug, they say, "I love you Mom". With tears in your eyes, you know just what to say, you've waited and waited for this very day. "Remember this, honey, and no matter what, you're special, I love you, you just hold on to that." And then when the day comes when you answer the phone...they're sending your little one back to their home. You think of the work that may be undone when they do send them back to the very same one. They're much different today then they were back when. Your hard work has paid off; you can see it in them. You hope and you pray they'll remember your love ,but you can't help but wonder, will it be enough? To carry them through what may lie ahead you try to be strong to cover your dread. Your head says you must get through the goodbyes but the weight in your heart feels like part of it's died. Later, you learn they are doing well. They come over to visit and you really can tell. Their life isn't perfect but it's turning out quite nice, so you have made a difference in one little child's life.


Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Our little monkey...

Our little monkey is feeling so much better. The controller meds seem to be working...as you can tell by his smile. This is the face I see every morning and he always says, " dood mornin"(good morning) and then he says "want out" because he is ready for the day. Sweet baby.

He thinks he is big now,

Having dinner at MeMaw & PawPaw's.

This is what you call

LOVED.

So loved.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,and he will direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6